everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
