Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
