im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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