just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
