Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
