I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
