Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
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