I wish i was in the wii world.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
