you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
