Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
