it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Randomize
