i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize