Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
