I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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