Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
