I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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