Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Randomize
