When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
