His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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