Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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