At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize