porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
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