I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize
