I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
