Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
