I just pynch a tree in the face
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
