Soap is not a condiment
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
