I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
