and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize