Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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