Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
So squirting runs in the family.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
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