drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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