are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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