He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
