this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
