meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
