My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Drunk is not a location!
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
