Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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