On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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