I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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