I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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