What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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