So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
