we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Actions speak louder than pants.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Randomize