Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
