i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
