I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Randomize
