remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
What drink are we having for lunch?
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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