i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
