garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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