Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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