wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
