I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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