Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
