this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
