it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
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