He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
