I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
