See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
