I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
