They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
