why didn't you poke me back
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Randomize
