Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
He better not be in your backpack
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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